The trendy game “Squirt Gun Assassin”, where the object is to shoot everyone else and be the last person dry, is being blamed for a bunch of car accidents outside Hartford.

Police said in the past several days, several Connecticut teens have played the game while driving, leading to three crashes.

“They keep knocking people out and the last man standing wins the game,” Janelly Gonzalez said. “They were playing Assassin, it got really serious. There were squirt guns and a truck drove into someone’s house and they ended up in the hospital.” [full story]

Wow. A lot has changed since I was a teenager. We had our own version of “Squirt Gun Assassin” but it involved super soakers and unsuspecting girls in white t-shirts. Sure, there were still car accidents, but it was mostly just minor whiplash. Keep your eyes on the road, dirty old men.

See that photo? That’s her when she was 14 years old. Seriously. 14. She posted it on her blog today.

Anyone else think that she looks way better here than she does now? She used to look like Jessica Alba with big boobs. Now she looks like Kim Kardashian with a big ass. Downgrade.

Just in time for Dre’s request to feature some brunettes, we bring you Drewleen as today’s featured real girl.

Drewleen’s not a southern girl, but she looks like she should be working the rodeo circuit, don’t you think? I can totally picture this girl in cowboy boots and hat, wearing the tightest jeans you can imagine with a huge belt buckle, walking around with a tub of beer and somehow convincing guys to pay $10 per can. She’d be rich.

Know someone who should be immortalized as an Awesomeology Real Girl? Tell them to submit their pics here!

Much more of Drewleen after the jump… Read the rest of this entry »

OJ Simpson was found guilty of leading a group of men into a Las Vegas hotel room and stealing sports memorabilia at gunpoint.

Is that really such a big deal? As Tony Stark would say, let’s face it…that’s not the worst thing we’ve seen him do. I don’t know, it seems to me that the jury had it in for him. I can’t imagine why. The guy won the Heisman!

Depending on what the judge decides, he could be facing life in prison, which means that he will definitely be sentenced to life in prison.

Apparently it’s not too difficult to stop a chick bank robber…

[A female bank robber] walked into the bank located inside a [New York] supermarket and handed the teller a note demanding cash and threatening to open fire with a gun…the bank teller…had a simple question for a would-be robber: “Are you serious?” Police said that was enough to spook the female suspect, who fled [the bank]…without a dime. [full story]

I don’t even know what to say. I guess she wasn’t serious.

For future reference, if a bank teller asks you if you’re serious, you say YES. If Gozer asks you if you’re a god, you say YES. And if your boyfriend asks you if you want to do the wheelbarrow, you say YES.